Updated 3/13/2023
If you’re a geologist who loves a good pun, this post is for you! When having fun with science, nothing is better than making your friends and colleagues laugh.
We’ve compiled 50 of the funniest rock puns out there that are guaranteed to put smiles on the faces of all your fellow stony enthusiasts.
Whether it’s igneous, sedimentary, or metamorphic jokes you seek – prepare yourself for some serious hilarity as we delve into the world of geological humor!
Funny Geological Jokes & Puns
1) Geology… it’s not rocket science.
2) I liked carbon before it was coal.
3) Did you hear about the geologist who went to jail? He was charged with basalt and battery.
3) Mineralogists party allanite long.
4) What did carbon 14 to say to Nitrogen 14? Where half you been all my life!
5) I got a new shotgun… it’s a double-beryl.
6) Hipster geologists study the tributary, instead of the main stream.
7) My students often take geniss for granite.
8) What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I lava you.
9) Hey girl, let me see your cleavage and you can test my hardness.
10) Baby, you’re hotter than the K-T extinction event.
11) Plateaus are the highest form of flattery.
12) Do these protons make my mass look big?
13) Native elements are serious bismuth.
14) Don’t blame me, the San Andreas is not my fault.
15) For eruptions lasting longer than four hours, please consult your Geologist.
16) Geologists know what makes the bedrock!
17) “Are you cummingtonite?” “No, I don’t think I wollastonite.”
18) Gneiss cleavage!
19) This rock was magma before it was cool…
20) You should never expect perfection from Geologists. They all have their faults.
21) Do Geologists take their jobs seriously? No fracking way.
22) Did you hear about the Geology student who ended up drowning? His grades were below “C” level!
23) What band do Geologists listen to the most? The Rolling Stones!
24) Why do all Geologists favor marijuana legalization? Because they love getting stoned!
25) You shouldn’t lend geologists money…they consider a million years ago to be recent.
26) What do you call a fake Irish Gem? A shamrock!
27) I’ll never take you for granite!
28) Igneous is bliss!
29) Don’t make me mad…you’ll sulphur the consequences!
30) Hey there…need a rift?
31) Yo-ho, yo-ho, a Pyrite’s life for me!
32) If you’re going to be a geologist, try not to be an ash-hole!
33) Geologists aren’t particular…they’ll date anything!
34) I think you’re just marbelous!
35) Geologists are great athletes…check out the latest issue of Quartz Illustrated.
36) When a geologist dies, barium!
37) The world is so diverse…it’s made up of alkynes of people!
38) It’s been a tuff day for me.
39) My feelings toward geology are strictly plutonic.
40) I wish I were a Richter man…
41) “I really hate rock puns.” “My sediments exactly.”
42) “Have you heard that joke about sodium?” “Na.”
43) Geologists never die…they just recrystallize.
44) Always hire geologists…they do a solid job.
45) Sedimentary rocks are cheap because they’re always for shale.
46) Metamorphic rocks are horrible test takers because it’s just too much pressure.
47) A lot of geologists are drug addicts, because they always hit rock bottom.
48) Tectonic plates are always arguing because there’s so much friction between them.
49) How does Sherlock Holmes always crack the case? Sedimentary, my dear Watson!
50) What’s a geologist’s favorite music genre? Punk rock, obviously…
